Quartermasters Gifts

"Sorry lads, it's the best I can do with the budget cuts."

Leak in the fish tank.

Spot Quiz....

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'This duck call works too well.'

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'

Jokes machine.

Fish tank filled with sardines.

Pet Store: Clown Fish.

The Mom quiz show

Bat out of Hell

'How long have you had that toupee?'

"Next riddle without looking it up, can you tell me which is the routing number and which is the account?"

"There weren't any more clown fishes at the pet shop, so they got me - a jester fish."

Backdoor

John Humphreys

"And now your General Knowledge Round...Where does clean laundry come from?"

"Another goldfish...?"

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

'Mr. Simmons, we've been asked by the entire world to make you wear these.'

Tropical Cow Tank

It's academic

Seaside Aquarium

The Edward Witten String-Theory Quarter

'It doesn't say anything....They're having a barbecue!'

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

"How long can you hold that pose?!"

Thanks TSA

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

"I switched hobbies from tropical fish to gardening. I won't feel so bad if I kill a plant."

'It's their warm inquisitive eyes I find most unnerving. . .'