Quartermasters Pillows

"Sorry lads, it's the best I can do with the budget cuts."

Leak in the fish tank.

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

Spot Quiz....

'This duck call works too well.'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Jokes machine.

Fish tank filled with sardines.

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'

'How long have you had that toupee?'

"Next riddle without looking it up, can you tell me which is the routing number and which is the account?"

The Mom quiz show

Bat out of Hell

"There weren't any more clown fishes at the pet shop, so they got me - a jester fish."

Backdoor

"Another goldfish...?"

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

"And now your General Knowledge Round...Where does clean laundry come from?"

'It doesn't say anything....They're having a barbecue!'

The Edward Witten String-Theory Quarter

Tropical Cow Tank

'Mr. Simmons, we've been asked by the entire world to make you wear these.'

It's academic

Seaside Aquarium

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

A fish jumping from a tank that reads "Tropical fish $5.00" into a tank that reads "Tropical fish $20.00"

"If man evolved from apes,does that mean we came from Sea Monkeys?"

"How long can you hold that pose?!"

Thanks TSA

"I switched hobbies from tropical fish to gardening. I won't feel so bad if I kill a plant."