Quality Of Life Gifts

Don't Do It

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Sloaney Pony.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

Rhapsody in Blue.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Low-Energy Drinks

Romance

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

Crap from the future.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Cat in a flap

No Immediate Danger

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

City Boy.

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

Hoodie Hang-out

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."