Quality Of Life T-Shirts

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Sloaney Pony.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Low-Energy Drinks

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

Romance

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

Crap from the future.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Cat in a flap

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Meanwhile in Hollywood

City Boy.

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

Hoodie Hang-out

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.