Living Well Gifts

Tom's last day.

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Self help acupuncture

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

On the back of the t-shirt...

"Your contents have shifted."

Turn, turn and turn.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Low-Energy Drinks

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Try thinking about something else."

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

The Fast Lane.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."