Health Living Gifts

'I think switching to sanka was a mistake.'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

What the Doctor Ordered

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

"Your contents have shifted."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

On the back of the t-shirt...

Mister Mid-Life Crisis