Get Well Gifts

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

'The good news is it's curable, the bad news is you can't afford it.'

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

"Ah! - now when I said 'Stool sample'....."

'This is the fifth 'get well' card this week from your substituting teacher.'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

Dr. Delgado's bedside manner did not instill confidence in his patients.'

'This get well card is from the nurses you have been complaining about.'

Condensed chef salad

'The flower store was closed. You like rhubarb, right?'

NHS Deep Clean - 'Great news! You're going to get a bath.'

'Kemo Sabe.' 'No, no..chemo.'

Get well. Get down.

"Maybe I needed a brain also! I left my heart in San Francisco!"

'The doctor will see you shortly. Try not to disappoint him.'

'You got two 'Get Well' and one 'Get Off the Furniture'.'

"I'm looking for a Get Well card for my Mom. She's going to be sick when she sees my report card."

Greetings!

'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'

'When I wiggle my leg like this, I get a pain here.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

'If laughter is the best medicine, how come the ambulance never takes you to a comedy club?'

Say it with cards

Lactose Intolerant

'He's had so many operations I'm putting in a zip.'

"Hey. When he wakes up, how 'bout I talk but you make the faces."

"What do you have to comfort somebody who is suffering from the heartbreak of psoriasis?"

Get better off soon

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

Even Godzilla is taking precautions!

"I suggest you let Robin handle the crime fighting for the next few days."

'Being accident prone put him here in the first place. Who else but Fred would have a bee delivered with his flowers!'

Mime in an Emergency Ward at Hospital

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

The first successful removal of a TV remote control from an adult male's clenched fist.