Get Well Pillows

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

'The good news is it's curable, the bad news is you can't afford it.'

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

'This is the fifth 'get well' card this week from your substituting teacher.'

"Ah! - now when I said 'Stool sample'....."

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

'This get well card is from the nurses you have been complaining about.'

Dr. Delgado's bedside manner did not instill confidence in his patients.'

Condensed chef salad

'The doctor will see you shortly. Try not to disappoint him.'

'You got two 'Get Well' and one 'Get Off the Furniture'.'

'The flower store was closed. You like rhubarb, right?'

NHS Deep Clean - 'Great news! You're going to get a bath.'

Get well. Get down.

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm looking for a Get Well card for my Mom. She's going to be sick when she sees my report card."

'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'

Say it with cards

'He's had so many operations I'm putting in a zip.'

"Hey. When he wakes up, how 'bout I talk but you make the faces."

"What do you have to comfort somebody who is suffering from the heartbreak of psoriasis?"

Get better off soon

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

Greetings!

'When I wiggle my leg like this, I get a pain here.'

'If laughter is the best medicine, how come the ambulance never takes you to a comedy club?'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

'Remind me again of which pleasures I haven't removed from your life.'

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

"I imagine it takes a while to get turned around after spending a month in the hospital."

I heard you were well sick.

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

'Being accident prone put him here in the first place. Who else but Fred would have a bee delivered with his flowers!'

Mime in an Emergency Ward at Hospital

"I suggest you let Robin handle the crime fighting for the next few days."