Getting Well Pillows

'It's okay for you...your holiday problem is solved!'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

What the Doctor Ordered

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

Social distancing

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

Cardiac Recovery.

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

Vlad the Inhaler

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients