Get Well Card Gifts

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

"Do you guys serve beer?"

What the Doctor Ordered

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Your contents have shifted."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Cardiac Recovery.

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Try thinking about something else."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."