Daily Life Gifts

Things-could-be-worse-go-round

"Pawn to King Four."

Proof of life on earth

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

The much more typical...Renaissance Man.

Deja Vu.

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

Me, my master is a lawyer, so car rides with him are always exciting: we chase ambulances!"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

Rhapsody in Blue.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

Crap from the future.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Weird things I do because of the internet

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

City Boy.

Love linked

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

No Immediate Danger

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

Saxophone Player.