Daily Living Gifts

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Hoodie Hang-out

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

Sick Building Syndrome

Can't even hold signs well.

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

Doubledecker bus stop

From Here You Can See Bugger All

Odysseus returns to the Laundromat

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

'I don't think we can justify employing a gardener.'