Qualification Skeptics Gifts

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

"We daren't go in there at our age. We'd probably end up with slipped discos!"

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

Qualifications

"My teacher says I lack 'intellectual curiosity,' whatever that is."

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

'Center for rat race studies'

Fish "I hate going back to school"

'Those are just to hide the cracks in the wall.'

'Being able to 'Raise the Dead' is all very well but I'm afraid it's not much use without the appropriate qualifications.'

'My dad says school is a waste of time and that as long as I'm fast, I'll succeed...'

"So, you're the mediation expert, huh? So, what does that make you, a big deal or something?"

"What did I learn in school today? - Frankly, Mom, you're better off not knowing."

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

'Oh yes, you need specific credentials to be a town planner.'

REPORT CARD, 'Maybe it got garbled in transmission.'

'Call yourself a real consultant? You've only kept me waiting six weeks!'

'If you're rich enough to send me to a fancy, private college, why do I have to go?'

The moment Frank realized his MBA really wasn't worth it.

"Do you have to believe everything a teacher, Principal and Superintendent tell you?"