Qualification Skeptics Prints

America's Rich Tapestry of Unemployment

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"We daren't go in there at our age. We'd probably end up with slipped discos!"

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

Qualifications

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

'Center for rat race studies'

"My teacher says I lack 'intellectual curiosity,' whatever that is."

Quiz Today. I don't remember clicking of any terms of agreement that cover this!

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

'And I see you have a degree from the University of Wikipedia...'

Fish "I hate going back to school"

'My dad says school is a waste of time and that as long as I'm fast, I'll succeed...'

'Being able to 'Raise the Dead' is all very well but I'm afraid it's not much use without the appropriate qualifications.'

"So, you're the mediation expert, huh? So, what does that make you, a big deal or something?"

'Those are just to hide the cracks in the wall.'

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

"What did I learn in school today? - Frankly, Mom, you're better off not knowing."

'Oh yes, you need specific credentials to be a town planner.'

REPORT CARD, 'Maybe it got garbled in transmission.'

'If you're rich enough to send me to a fancy, private college, why do I have to go?'

'Call yourself a real consultant? You've only kept me waiting six weeks!'

"I'm eighteen, Clay. I don't have to work out."