Credential Skeptic Gifts

'Oh yes, you need specific credentials to be a town planner.'

UK border controls relaxed.

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Progress?

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

Coincidence or What?

Your DNA is in the database.

"That'll keep them out."

This homeland security is getting out of hand.

'According to the voice-stress analyzer, he's not going to lower taxes.'

"Your call and personal data may be monitored for brainwashing purposes."

'The LACK of a resume indicates that I don't need one.'

'For your safety, these stalls are monitored by a single person in a discreet location.'

"Thanks for your input Branston, but I've decided to go with my intution"

"£38,000 in consultancy fees and 'sell more stuff' is the best you can manage."

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

"Full disclosure: I served five years for bank fraud."

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

Panel with Experts to be broken in case of emergency

'Our actual performance over the last quarter depends much on one's perspective. Take, for example, this perspective.'

A man realises surveillance cameras are on him at the urinal.

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'And I see you have a degree from the University of Wikipedia...'

'Before you use that information, I ought to tell you that the computer predicted we'd have record profits last year.'

'Years ago he got his investment back, plus millions in interest. So he's leaving everything to Bernard Madoff.'

"So, you're the mediation expert, huh? So, what does that make you, a big deal or something?"

"Sometimes I think I'm a victim of the 'Peter principle', I reached my real competence level some time ago..."

The Enemies Within? They're the Boys in Blue

"… and this one too, doc — 'university' is definitely spelled wrong."

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

'My dad says school is a waste of time and that as long as I'm fast, I'll succeed...'

'Those are just to hide the cracks in the wall.'