Id Skeptic Gifts

"Wow. I can't believe I got this far without anyone asking me for an I.D."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

Cupid misses his shot.

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

Coincidence or What?

'My philosophy has always been, sell advice, don't follow it.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"It's from a girl in my class. Should I be thinking about a prenup?"

Yes, but.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'

Second Thoughts Wedding

Your DNA is in the database.

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."