Qualification Juggler Gifts

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

That party went well.

Stop and Birch

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

Education Guidance

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

Lawyer, Attorney, Counselor, Barrister, Solicitor

'I can't say yes or no right now, Steve, but Vince's option runs out next month.'

'I've been married six times, did you know? . . . Oh yes, but how many husbands I've had, I'm not sure!'

'I know your client wants a jury trial, but we can't come up with a jury. People are too busy.'

'Hank,I know you promised to go fishing with me today but you should have stayed in bed.'

"I'm a superhero for the benefit of mankind. It's my day job in a call centre that pays the bills."

'I could rule the world if it wasn't for my inferiority complex.'