Aspiration Juggler Gifts

'I could rule the world if it wasn't for my inferiority complex.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

Education Guidance

Man Walking Towards His Goal.

Spanx Tells Me No

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

"Inside me there's a juggler struggling to get out."

'Almost done.'

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

'Who's gonna stay here and do my homework?'

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

Calendar; 'Point of no return.'

Writer, waiter, writer, waiter.

'I can't say yes or no right now, Steve, but Vince's option runs out next month.'

'I've been married six times, did you know? . . . Oh yes, but how many husbands I've had, I'm not sure!'

"If we're learning about multitasking, why does she need our 'undivided attention?'"

'Hank,I know you promised to go fishing with me today but you should have stayed in bed.'

"I told you to stop doing this if you're going to approach each table saying 'little help here'."

"Yes, we can assist with upside-down mortgages!"

New Year Resolutions Recycling

'So you're not going to become a world famous juggler. Get over it and move on!'

I may not have made any sales this quarter but I also haven't prevented and sales.

'Can't talk now! I'll call you back.'

'I would have got a better grade but the student I always copy from was absent.'

'Oh, I don't know, part of me wants to get married and part of me wants to stay single...and part of me wants to sail around the world and part of me wants to enter a monastery and part of me wants to be a hairdresser and part of me wants to...'

I raised seven children and fourteen house plants. How's that for management experience?

Competing Mission Trampoline

"Yes, son, lowest is a superlative. Why?"

"That's what I get for giving it 110%!"

'Would you mind stopping by my house on your way home? -- I'd like my Mom to see your report card before she sees mine.'

"Oh, I've always wanted to pretend to want to hike the Appalachian Trail."

"Guess we don't have to worry about success going to my head."