Expectation Juggler Gifts

'Almost done.'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

Late/Too Late.

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

Clients who show up early for an appointment are really annoying ??" especially when you work from home.

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'The girls must be feeling better...'

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

"I'm swamped but I can squeeze you in for a few moments yesterday."

"I think that might have been one deadline too many for Tim!"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

Wealth Juggler.

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

Unrealistic expectations tend to lead to disappointment. . .

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

(an employee is in grasp of a giant octopi.The employee's boss is yelling at him through a bull-horn) 'Mr. Smith! According to H.R., you can no longer be employed here! Alright H.R., you can set Mr. Smith down now!'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."