Qualification Juggler T-Shirts

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

Children's Parties

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

That party went well.

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

Stop and Birch

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Education Guidance

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

Swiss army justice.

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

'I've been married six times, did you know? . . . Oh yes, but how many husbands I've had, I'm not sure!'

Well, I can't sit around all day - I have things to do.

Lawyer, Attorney, Counselor, Barrister, Solicitor

'I can't say yes or no right now, Steve, but Vince's option runs out next month.'

'I know your client wants a jury trial, but we can't come up with a jury. People are too busy.'

'Hank,I know you promised to go fishing with me today but you should have stayed in bed.'

"Yes, we can assist with upside-down mortgages!"