Purring Expert Gifts

"Just what I wanted !...an Empty box!"

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

Cat Reunion

Pet Cemetery.

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"Glendora Hagan got in another load of cats, Elinor honey. Can you take a couple?"

Cat's golfing with a ball of yarn.

'Senior Cat Warranty, Low maintenance sofa accessory, Unlimited purring and cuddling, Mellow 'been there done that' attitude.'

Living with a cataholic.

"Don't you just love that new cat smell?"

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

Two cats making a heart shape with their tails

'Catch any good mice lately?'

Looks like this is the only contest Fluffy has a chance of winning today!

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

Re-home Sweet Home

"You resume states, 'My only good quality is I purr'. Could you go into that a little more?"

'Sometimes I think I spoil you Tiddles!'

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"While a cure for curiosity remains elusive, it continues to take a deadly toll."

'You think you can purr your way out of anything, don't you?'

Cat yoga

Who am I kidding?

'I know you got nine lives, but do you have to eat for all of them?'

'You never knew your father - he got stuck in a tree somewhere.'

"I can't tell whether my cat is happy or sad."

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

Cat DNA is decoded.

"It's a great property: the highlights are three cat-flaps, two litter trays, two scratch poles and of course, no bath..."

'I've been thinking a lot about what you said yesterday - but, I guess I say that about everything everyone says, everyday.'

'It's an improvement, Wally, but I still won't marry you.'

Balls of wool

"It has to be the chase, because, face it, ... mice don't taste that good."