Purrfectly Amused Pillows

Click bait for cats

"I think I've fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak into the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."

"I hate it..."

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

Romulus and Remus

Conclave.

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

There had always been three in the relationship...

'I went with a tour group to Europe, and they dumped me in Spain.'

"Welcome back, Mr. Bigley. Some messages came in for you while you were dead."

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

Turtle chick.

'If there is an unlimited supply of something....mortality is that it make our time finite....I think I'll poop on this guy's head.'

'Actually, I'm more a boy's best friend than man's best friend.'

"First the good news - I found my Rolex from your last operation."

Year of the Seagull: Scarecrow on car's top losing it's battle in chasing gulls away

Hospital patient using his thermometer on the remote control.

'I infected his computer with a nasty virus. That should keep him busy until hunting season is over.'

'First bear in space and still no respect.'

"The Choice is yours, Norman - either we divorce or I have you recycled."

'Amazing, isn't it? It's like she doesn't understand what I'm telling her.'

The Cliff Whites of Dover

"Oh, my family used to be rich alright: my grandfather was not referred to as a "house cat", but as a "grand manor cat"..."

"Under the Freedom of Information Act, I'm requesting that you disclose what you have on me in your files."

Cat Thanks.

'You'll ruin that palm if you keep on!'

"I need a wind to go with dinner tonight. What pairs well with dirt?"

"Why do we have to take hard classes like biology?"

So much for the wild blue yonder

-it's for our little grandson...

'I tried to finish with him over a month ago, but he just won't take the hint.'

"Ok Mr. Mosley, before we go, would you fill in these forms and complete the questionnaire - not forgetting to leave feedback regarding your judgement-day experience. . ."