Purr Machine Appreciator Pillows

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

Always Be Clawing

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Cat Reunion

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Shelter Cat Nap

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"Glendora Hagan got in another load of cats, Elinor honey. Can you take a couple?"

Old-fashioned computer

'Senior Cat Warranty, Low maintenance sofa accessory, Unlimited purring and cuddling, Mellow 'been there done that' attitude.'

Living with a cataholic.

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

"Don't you just love that new cat smell?"

'It's a hybrid.'

"And you wonder why they call me a bitch?"

"I'll get you out, but first hand me the chips in B-12."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

Pizza-Matic

Re-home Sweet Home

Cybervegan Caf

"You resume states, 'My only good quality is I purr'. Could you go into that a little more?"

'Wow, I hate to be disturbed when I'm enjoying a good brew, too.'

"It's our standard contract. You agree to be a powerless and insignificant cog in our vast corporate machine and we agree to oil you occasionally."

'You never knew your father - he got stuck in a tree somewhere.'

Long-range planning

"It's a great property: the highlights are three cat-flaps, two litter trays, two scratch poles and of course, no bath..."

Have you installed the heater?

Christmas Presents for the Cat

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

At the Flip-Flop Quality Control Center.

'It's an improvement, Wally, but I still won't marry you.'

Cat about to get an injection from a vet.

"It has to be the chase, because, face it, ... mice don't taste that good."