Purr-sonality Appreciator Pillows

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

Cat Reunion

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

Oscars 2024

"Glendora Hagan got in another load of cats, Elinor honey. Can you take a couple?"

'Senior Cat Warranty, Low maintenance sofa accessory, Unlimited purring and cuddling, Mellow 'been there done that' attitude.'

Living with a cataholic.

"Don't you just love that new cat smell?"

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Just where do you think you're going? You don't have the brains to graduate!"

"My cat just gave me the greatest password! She walked across my keyboard."

Re-home Sweet Home

'-and she gets headaches every time the doorbell plays our tune.'

"You resume states, 'My only good quality is I purr'. Could you go into that a little more?"

'You never knew your father - he got stuck in a tree somewhere.'

"It's a great property: the highlights are three cat-flaps, two litter trays, two scratch poles and of course, no bath..."

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

"Please don't feel it necessary to make conversation."

'No, sir, we don't have a big noise. We have a chief librarian.'

"This just in: Tinkles coughed-up a hairball, Mrs. Gray washed herself and everyone else took a long nap."

Cat swats man; 'ME...YOW!'

'It's an improvement, Wally, but I still won't marry you.'

Cat about to get an injection from a vet.

"We should get a cat."

"It has to be the chase, because, face it, ... mice don't taste that good."

"I know . . . your job's a pressure cooker. So will tonight be natural or quick release?"

"This is the upwardly mobile, mobile phone, sir, it converts everything you say into Queen's English."

It wasn't the voices in his head that bothered Stanley so much as it was the thick, foreign accent he couldn't understand.