Puppy Visionary Gifts

When Dachshunds dream.

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"States of tofu"

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Non Thought For The Day.

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

I guess I outta take science classes if I'm really going to help the environment. What for? You want to be a famous actress

'No, I said 'sit'.'

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

"I can only tell you what's in your future - it's up to you to chase it."

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

'That IS the chef's surprise, sir -- the pork chops are really tofu.'

"I don’t want to ‘fetch’ – I want to practice entertainment law."

"Since I was making a doggie door, I figured it was only fair to make a door for my bees too!"

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"

500 pages and one masterpiece later, Stephan makes a horrifying discovery.

Vegan Insomnia

"Just pay attention and you might learn a few new tricks."

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

Woolly tofu.

Ever wondered what the future will be like? Well, apart from robotic trousers it's a lot like the seventies.

The Inventor of Scratch and Sniff

Louis Daguerre takes a selfie

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

"Today a protest at the White House..."

"It's just the architect's model, but I'm very excited."

Books for dogs dealing with life issues.

You read the instructions upside down.