Quirky Visionary Gifts

Figments of your imagination next 5 miles.

The Map of the human brain

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

Pigeon Little

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Reverse psychology

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

Large print e-book.

Dreams I have had...

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Am I sensing fear?"

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

Illogic Tree

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'I need you to change my mind on something.'

The lesser of two evils.