Quirky Visionary Gifts

Figments of your imagination next 5 miles.

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Albert Einstein

The Map of the human brain

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

Pigeon Little

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Reverse psychology

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

Large print e-book.

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

Dreams I have had...

"Am I sensing fear?"

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, and the Woman who Mistook her Husband for a New Mercedes.

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

Illogic Tree

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'I need you to change my mind on something.'

The lesser of two evils.