Puppy Video Fan Gifts

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

What does aloof mean?

No littering...

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

"She's all over YouTube."

Dogs all across town saw fit to teach their owners a little empathy...

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

'You see, I didn't lie, the Internet is full of puppy and kitten videos: We could make a fortune!'

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

Boy weighs puppy: 'Ten... that's 70 in people-pounds, Sparky.'

Remote-controlled cat flap.

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

'Boy am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"I love to watch cat videos on the internet!"

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

Some Zoomies

Apple Kiss

"...31, 32, 33, 34! Boy o boy, the old lady moving in next door has 34 cats!"

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

'You know Rosco, our species just ain't what it used to be.'

Tiger suddenly realizes he enrolled in the wrong class.

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

"I’ve recently started self-medicating with viral pet videos."

'Some people think they're ugly. I think they're appealing!'

"How's the new job?"

'Complaints desk - Look, I've found this puppy in my toilet roll.'