Puppy Video Fan Pillows

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

No littering...

What does aloof mean?

"She's all over YouTube."

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Garbage Piñata

Dogs all across town saw fit to teach their owners a little empathy...

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

'You see, I didn't lie, the Internet is full of puppy and kitten videos: We could make a fortune!'

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

Dog park. I'm terrible with names, but I'm good with butts.

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

Boy weighs puppy: 'Ten... that's 70 in people-pounds, Sparky.'

Remote-controlled cat flap.

"I love to watch cat videos on the internet!"

Chasebook for Dogs

'Boy am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

"Hock pa-tooie. Hock pa-tooie. Hock pa-tooie."

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

Some Zoomies

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

Apple Kiss

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

"...31, 32, 33, 34! Boy o boy, the old lady moving in next door has 34 cats!"

Boss? I got a memo saying you want me to stop looking t so many Sirius Disclosure videos on Youtube. The past few days, you and your online girlfriend have been frequenting those videos and the associated Facebook group. Has it occurred to you that if we really do have contact with aliens ... if there really are twelve races, including reptilians who sign your payche - I mean, who control everything - that there's a reason they're keeping all this a secret? Very. Bad. Man. I've compiled a playli

Tiger suddenly realizes he enrolled in the wrong class.

'You know Rosco, our species just ain't what it used to be.'

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

'I'm still trying to decide if I should join the workforce or get my masters in staying.'

'Some people think they're ugly. I think they're appealing!'

"I’ve recently started self-medicating with viral pet videos."

"How's the new job?"