Puppy Patter Gifts

'Will work for tummy rub.'

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

The Z Chromosome: Zebratic engineering with questionable results.

"Another slander suit!"

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

A cart pulled by increasingly small dogs

'To woof or not to woof...'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"Bruno, sit."

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"The dog is developing quicker than me."

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

'He's barking mad!'

"Do you think Papi will let us have a puppy?"

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

Chasebook for Dogs

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

"Forget your 'inner puppy' - fetch!"

"Out! Damned Spot!"

"I think I'm a big dog."

"I never really needed obedience school, … It was more of an obedience seminar."

Spot's favorite game is "hard to pet".

Dog Tattoo

"The circus was good but as 'Jo Jo, the dogged faced attorney', I'm making a killing."

The Dog Botherer.

"They're free, but they ain't easy."

Man and dog.

'Patience, consistency and treats are really great training tools...and they work well with dogs, too.'

"My mum gave me one piece of advice, never try to outrun a zebra."

William felt out of place in the dog obedience school.

'Master corrected me with a newspaper... the Sunday Edition.'

"Hey, we're working our asses off here!"

"We go on daily walks too, but my master is a creature of habit: we take exactly the same route every single time..."