Puppy Pandemonium Analyst Gifts

"You're the one with the fancy forensic psychology degree; you tell me which one of them did it."

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Cat in Tree.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

"Do you think Papi will let us have a puppy?"

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

Prodigy - Woofgang Amadeus Mozart.

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

Dog Training For The Ninties

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

"The circus was good but as 'Jo Jo, the dogged faced attorney', I'm making a killing."

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

101 Poops - Dalmatian dog walker is in for a torrid time.

Discipline at Doggy School

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

Books for dogs dealing with life issues.

You read the instructions upside down.

"While your resumé said one thing it's come to our attention that labradors actually shed quite a bit."

William felt out of place in the dog obedience school.

“Nightmare on Pine Street...”

"I strongly suggest that you reinvent yourself!"

'I'm for any extreme makeover that doesn't include the word FIX.'