Puppy Pundit Gifts

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Pedigreed dog/Generic dog.

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

'Just ignore him - he's threatened to run away before.'

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

'Id prefer to tell you my age in human years.'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Eldrow

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

Balloon dog training

'I thought time was supposed to be money!'

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"Bruno, sit."

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"Do you think Papi will let us have a puppy?"

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'

The Fishbowl Dynasty

"Serves you right for licking it!"

'No, I said 'sit'.'

Chasebook for Dogs

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

'I get to work early and all I get are the worms.'

'Ok cup cake looks like its time to meet your maker.'

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

Chicken Little meets Chicken Medium.

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

"He's quick with the birds and the bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears. . ."

"Just between us, I came first, but I shredded the evidence."