Puppy Podcaster Gifts

"Still having trouble getting guests I see."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

'To woof or not to woof...'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

"The dog is developing quicker than me."

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

'No, I said 'sit'.'

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"Out! Damned Spot!"

"Forget your 'inner puppy' - fetch!"

'Does my tail make me look fat?'

"I can only tell you what's in your future - it's up to you to chase it."

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

"I never really needed obedience school, … It was more of an obedience seminar."

Discipline at Doggy School

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

The Dog Botherer.

"They're free, but they ain't easy."

Man and dog.

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

'Patience, consistency and treats are really great training tools...and they work well with dogs, too.'

Books for dogs dealing with life issues.

You read the instructions upside down.

The Domestic Violence Workshop Commences At 2:30.

"Hey, we're working our asses off here!"