Puppy Podcaster Gifts

"Still having trouble getting guests I see."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'To woof or not to woof...'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"The dog is developing quicker than me."

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

'No, I said 'sit'.'

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

"Out! Damned Spot!"

"Forget your 'inner puppy' - fetch!"

'Does my tail make me look fat?'

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"I can only tell you what's in your future - it's up to you to chase it."

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

"I never really needed obedience school, … It was more of an obedience seminar."

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

Discipline at Doggy School

The Dog Botherer.

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

"They're free, but they ain't easy."

Man and dog.

'Patience, consistency and treats are really great training tools...and they work well with dogs, too.'

Books for dogs dealing with life issues.

You read the instructions upside down.

The Domestic Violence Workshop Commences At 2:30.

"I'm detecting no heart at all...which explains your dislike of cute puppy videos."