Pup Personality Analyzer T-Shirts

"Theo, conversation is about talking and listening!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

What does aloof mean?

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"He gets easily abstracted."

"If I adopt you, you're going to have to wake me up and walk me twice a day."

"Fashion Week"

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

"Putting him on a diet was easy. Just hide a pill in his food and he'll never touch it."

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"You're either the olive or the Martini."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Four Star Meal

'Doctor Cameron, how fast! In the bladder already!'

"You'll like this restaurant. All the food is locally sourced from nearby dumpsters."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

"I'm beginning to believe that this is just busy work."

Dog on couch at psychiatrist office talking about love and liver snacks

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

"Careful with Number Three. I hear she's a tough one to please."

"Yes, you're definitely a good boy. Your only fault may be that you care too much."

"I think I'm a big dog."

'I've been married 4 times...do you think my resistance is down?'

'You're allowed up on the couch.'

Psychology 101

'It's probably your own fear of inadequacy.'

'Which one shall I get?'

Some Friends From Work

"It's gonna be hard but no more shaking and fetching for a few weeks."

'George, kitty got tired of waiting for us to let her in.'