Puppy-predictor T-Shirts

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Pick me!"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"You can't plead cute."

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

'I'll take him.'

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"Oh my god, you guys, a puppy!"

What they're thinking.

"I can only tell you what's in your future - it's up to you to chase it."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

Leonardo Da Vinci's Dog.

"Once I finish obedience school, I plan to stray around Europe for a year."

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

Pet Shelter. If you can't decide which dog to adopt, try taking one for a walk. Leash to own!

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

'Feed the homeless' - 'I'm a cute puppy'

''Woof, Woof, Woof.' You call that a blog entry?'

"Of course, if you want a dog that will rescue you from drowning, that's another story."

"While your resumé said one thing it's come to our attention that labradors actually shed quite a bit."

"Theo, conversation is about talking and listening!"

If you have 5 dogs, 3 will be asleep.

A couple deciding whether to enter their puppy into a dog show

'Hopefully, I'll grow into the job.'