Pup Personality Analyzer Pillows

"Theo, conversation is about talking and listening!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

What does aloof mean?

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"He gets easily abstracted."

"If I adopt you, you're going to have to wake me up and walk me twice a day."

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

"Fashion Week"

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"You're either the olive or the Martini."

"Putting him on a diet was easy. Just hide a pill in his food and he'll never touch it."

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

Four Star Meal

"I'm beginning to believe that this is just busy work."

"You'll like this restaurant. All the food is locally sourced from nearby dumpsters."

'Doctor Cameron, how fast! In the bladder already!'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Dog on couch at psychiatrist office talking about love and liver snacks

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

"Careful with Number Three. I hear she's a tough one to please."

'I've been married 4 times...do you think my resistance is down?'

Psychology 101

"I think I'm a big dog."

"Yes, you're definitely a good boy. Your only fault may be that you care too much."

'It's probably your own fear of inadequacy.'

'You're allowed up on the couch.'

'Which one shall I get?'

Some Friends From Work

"It's gonna be hard but no more shaking and fetching for a few weeks."