Punny Present Lover Pillows

'Want to come to the Thanksgiving play, Grandma? I have a real meaty part.'

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

'We have three minutes left.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

Diner

Fly fishing.

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

High speed cinder block

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'Will you be wanting this?'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'What do you mean these aren't donut holes'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

Beware of Everything

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

Ball Pool Peril