Punnet Patron Pillows

'Every crowd has a silver lining!'

''The consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

'It's a treasure map.'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

Jerry had a difficult time coming up with cartoon ideas over the noise his dogs made. '...so then the cat says, 'No, thanks. I'll clean it myself.' 'Ha,ha! Yeah, that's a good one,Phil!'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

Village Pet Shop.

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

"I can't help the fact he's fallen in love with the barmaids poodle."

Who's Not Who.

Magritte Man with Xmas pudding instead of apple.

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

"The circus was good but as 'Jo Jo, the dogged faced attorney', I'm making a killing."

'Do you think it takes 10p?'

"O.K., now can you make like a million little tiny ones?"

'The man at the shelter promised he doesn't bark at all.'

"And a bag of peanuts."

"They claim they're being used as pawns and are filing a lawsuit."

Knight Of The Garter

"Any volunteers to sell their souls to Satan?"

William felt out of place in the dog obedience school.

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'

'The service is over, Ed. You have to wake them up.'

Teacher to students: 'A penny for your thoughts, but only if you're here on scholarship.'

A beginner's guide to being a sociopath

'Greg, if your cell phone was set to vibrate, I think I've located it.'

"I think that's where he's coming from, mate."

'Landline go!'

"You're Not Bending Your Knees."