Pup Patron Pillows

'The man at the shelter promised he doesn't bark at all.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'The Saxon King' pub

Fur Baby

Surreal ale

"If I adopt you, you're going to have to wake me up and walk me twice a day."

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

'What is it Spot? What are you trying to tell me?'

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

"Fashion Week"

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

"I see a couch."

Pub Kendo.

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"Since when did your time spend being man's best friend become billable hours."

Four Star Meal

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

'Doctor Cameron, how fast! In the bladder already!'

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

"It's a fantastic character reference..."

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

"I'm beginning to believe that this is just busy work."

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

"You'll like this restaurant. All the food is locally sourced from nearby dumpsters."

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'