Pup Patron Pillows

'The man at the shelter promised he doesn't bark at all.'

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

Fur Baby

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Surreal ale

'The Saxon King' pub

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

'What is it Spot? What are you trying to tell me?'

"If I adopt you, you're going to have to wake me up and walk me twice a day."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"Fashion Week"

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

'That beagle sure is a tough case!'

"I see a couch."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

Pub Kendo.

"Since when did your time spend being man's best friend become billable hours."

Four Star Meal

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

"I'm beginning to believe that this is just busy work."

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

'Doctor Cameron, how fast! In the bladder already!'

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

"It's a fantastic character reference..."

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

"You'll like this restaurant. All the food is locally sourced from nearby dumpsters."