Pawn Patron Pillows

"They claim they're being used as pawns and are filing a lawsuit."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The Saxon King' pub

Surreal ale

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

Pub Kendo.

Bike powered computer.

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

Prawn Shop

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

Sadly, there are those who take advantage of bunnies down on their financial luck.

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

'Boozer's Week.'

'It's very quiet in here, with everyone Twittering away.'

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.

"Do you realize that we spend one-third of our lives in bed and the other two-thirds in here?"

"Right - let's get back to the house and pretend to hate each other..."

'Get my broker on the phone, please, stock not pawn?'

Beer....Beer Fart.

'I said I wanted a cake with a naked bird coming out of it.'

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

Magritte Man with Xmas pudding instead of apple.

"I can't help the fact he's fallen in love with the barmaids poodle."

The only "fake news" we care about is fake IDs.