Pun-tastic Chef Gifts

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Do it yourself books.

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

"Before I serve you dinner, it was in the chicken's last wishes that you watch his video will."

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

Three Pigs.

Onion Guillotine

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

"For supper tonight, we'll have pizza, and cold pizza for dessert."

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

Noodle exchange program.

'This is not Hungarian stew. Sorry, the butcher ran out of Hungarians.'

Intolerant Chef

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

"Never mind the cost of living crisis, dear, you still need your 5-a-day."

'Alphabet soup? -- oh, an intellectual, eh?'

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

"He's Britains most eligible Spatula."

Commie Chef.

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

"You'll get three meals a day,but they will all be continental breakfast."

'I'll tell you what's for dinner if you'll promise not to laugh.'