Pun-tastic Chef Gifts

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Do it yourself books.

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

"Before I serve you dinner, it was in the chicken's last wishes that you watch his video will."

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

Onion Guillotine

Three Pigs.

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

"For supper tonight, we'll have pizza, and cold pizza for dessert."

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

Noodle exchange program.

Intolerant Chef

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

'This is not Hungarian stew. Sorry, the butcher ran out of Hungarians.'

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"He's Britains most eligible Spatula."

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

'Alphabet soup? -- oh, an intellectual, eh?'

Commie Chef.

"You'll get three meals a day,but they will all be continental breakfast."

'And none of yor deflationary wit - just attend to the bar-b-q-.'

'I'll tell you what's for dinner if you'll promise not to laugh.'