Pulpit Philosopher Pillows

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"I AM at my usual position."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Men gossiping

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

ONE HORSE TOWN

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

Brickie's Mate

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

If bar stools were like playground swings...

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Body by Jake

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."