Pulpit Philosopher Gifts

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"I AM at my usual position."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Men gossiping

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

ONE HORSE TOWN

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

Brickie's Mate

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

Body by Jake

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

If that call's for me, I'm not here.