Pulpit Comedian Pillows

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

Basketball injuries.

'We are gathered here...'

Regular Sermons - Fire & Brimstone Sermons

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

"These are for your heart and kidneys – the others are for the rest of your organs so they don't feel left out."

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

"He can't tell his left from his right."

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

"Russia is run by rich oligarchs. America is run by rich insurance companies."

Oval Office

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

Priest and mobile

Now THAT was a speech with something for everybody!

Gary Johnson

The Slumber Party.

'You're in luck. The dog ate my sermon.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

Policeman and cab tout,

It was that moment that Pastor Russ realized that it was Saturday.