Pulpit Humor Pillows

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'We are gathered here...'

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

Regular Sermons - Fire & Brimstone Sermons

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

Pirated mirrors.

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

Priest and mobile

'No, Ma'am, nothin' dead under there... just a nest of adolescent lawyers.'

"I'm the owner of Happy Pappy's comedy club. Here's my card. Call me."

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

'Occupation?'

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

'You're in luck. The dog ate my sermon.'

"He's giving 3-1 Magic Spider in the 230."

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

Dalmatian with Spotty Poop.

'I think it's most likely a situational depression.'

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'

'Take two of these after I leave the room.'

Dog poops next to a 'Crap' sign.

It was that moment that Pastor Russ realized that it was Saturday.

"Take two pills every four hours. Or, take four pills every two hours and get better even faster." What he thought he heard.

'Mr. Handley here makes all the final hiring decisions.'

'I'll be brief today since my Powerpoint isn't working.'

For Your Dog

"Well hellooooo chica. And what is your name?"

New curate discussing the pulpit with his paritioners

So What Field You In?