Pug Enthusiast Gifts

"If you lie down with pugs, you wake up with pugs."

"That's because it's inbred."

"I don't see how being a pug changes things."

A couple deciding whether to enter their puppy into a dog show

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

When Pugs dream.

"Not really. I went on the green carpet just before we came out."

"I'm getting HIM a mug that says: I woke up like this!"

"No, Boris Johnson is not under there."

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

"Pick me!"

'Ahhh...'

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

Beware the Dog: 'Hopefully I'll grow into the job...'

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"Honestly, sweetheart, you're not like the others I've been out with."

"Uh Ooh... Another tsunami hits the Ross Ice shelf!

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

"Here's one: 'Youth Frisbee Camp', from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Tuesdays." "Naw... Go back to that first one, for 'early chewers', wasn't that one a sleep-over camp?"

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

Dogma

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

'What will we do when the ice melts?'

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."