Publishing Paparazzo Pillows

"Sure, if this was New York, I'd be your editor and you'd be the author - but this is L.A., so I'm your agent and you're the whatever."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

She left lots of photos out so the cat wouldn't miss her while she was away...

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

Selfie World

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

The EP-21 spy plane.

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"Okay, you have my attention."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Man selling lamb weekly

'We know it's good...we had an excellent ghost writer.'

The Pooperrazzi

'I love looking at the stars. I think of us as celestial paparazzi.'

"I forgot to get a selfie during the procedure. Can we do it again?"

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

Welcome to celebrity hell.

"Don't move - I don't think we're being watched."

Media press pack outside stable where Jesus is born

Efforts Results In Seeing Stars

"This is just between you and me and the lamppost." "I'll sell it to the tabloids."

Stepped in Dog Poo.

"I'm sorry, Prolf. Minskov, but that article on Minskov's theory...they want someone else to write it."

'This is an excellent article about your life in the forest, Mr......uh....Miss Herman, would you please bring me an oil can?'

"You'd have thought they'd have all slept with each other by now."

Photographers Then and Now.

Press Pass

"Winning so many awards is great. The only downside is the puparazzi."

'This camera is so fast that you don't even have to press the shutter release.'

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill? I'd like to publish a case report on this one?"

"Apparently, in this kingdom, there's no room for a 'royal watcher'."

"But you just had to elude the paparazzi."

"Get all the information you can, we'll think of a use for it later."

'Bloody paparazzi' - 'I know, it's at least 40 minutes since I rang them!'