Property Paparazzo Pillows

"I didn't realise the Wilson's house was on the market."

She left lots of photos out so the cat wouldn't miss her while she was away...

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

The EP-21 spy plane.

"Okay, you have my attention."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

'I love looking at the stars. I think of us as celestial paparazzi.'

The Pooperrazzi

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

"I forgot to get a selfie during the procedure. Can we do it again?"

Welcome to celebrity hell.

"Sure, if this was New York, I'd be your editor and you'd be the author - but this is L.A., so I'm your agent and you're the whatever."

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

Efforts Results In Seeing Stars

Media press pack outside stable where Jesus is born

"This is just between you and me and the lamppost." "I'll sell it to the tabloids."

Damp? Only when the tide is very, very high.

Stepped in Dog Poo.

'Don't be alarmed at closing when you sign you name so many times you don't recognize your own signature.'

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill? I'd like to publish a case report on this one?"

"Winning so many awards is great. The only downside is the puparazzi."

"But you just had to elude the paparazzi."

Press Pass

Photographers Then and Now.

"This one's called. Make Me An Offer."

'This camera is so fast that you don't even have to press the shutter release.'

"Apparently, in this kingdom, there's no room for a 'royal watcher'."

"Get all the information you can, we'll think of a use for it later."

'Bloody paparazzi' - 'I know, it's at least 40 minutes since I rang them!'

'Frankly - I think this is a monstrous invasion of our privacy!'

"When you get a title remember title insurance."

"Were you aware you'll need to sign over your wife & kids as collateral in order to secure this property?"