Public House Patron Gifts

The Sunday Question - The Public House

Tut and Carmen.

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Surreal ale

'The Saxon King' pub

survival of the fittest

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

Pub Kendo.

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

"Take us to Lady Gaga."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

'I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but in order for Act 3 to go on we'll need an additional $17,000!'

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

Theatrical Christmas.

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

'Boozer's Week.'

'It's very quiet in here, with everyone Twittering away.'

"Do you realize that we spend one-third of our lives in bed and the other two-thirds in here?"

"Right - let's get back to the house and pretend to hate each other..."

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

"Don't ask me. I don't know what 'my country 'tis of thee' means, either."

The only "fake news" we care about is fake IDs.

Crazy Ideas