Public Park Patron Gifts

Convention of municipal gardeners.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

The High Line at Giza

Surreal ale

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

'The Saxon King' pub

Monument in the park for Squirrel Feeder

"Yeah, you were right! The indoor wheel is fun, but running in the park is a lot better..."

Moms gone wild

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

Wildcats Strike.

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

Whittlers Mother

"I could have gotten to the top . . . but I wasted all my time in the park."

Playing in the park....child on a leash.

Pub Kendo.

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"These are wonderful, precious years before he learns that he's benefitting from institutional racism."

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

"We're temporarily located in an office park, so it would be best if we came to you."

"I once experienced childlike wonder. . . but it was just my anti-depressants kicking in."

I've been scouting new locations for the strip. Great. We can certainly use some. Have you found anything exciting so far? Yes. A bench on the other side of the park. It has a trash can in the background.

Stories about crumbs

"You know it's peak allergy season when they welcome Mom back into the flock."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'