Public Health Satire Aficionado Gifts

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

How To Make A Pigs Ear Out Of Swine Flu.

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

Way too General Practitioner

'Sure you can have another opinion but I still say you are a fat pig.'

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

"Some 'King'. They didn't even give me an N95."

"I have exclusive rights with Pfizer."

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

COVID-19 fever

2020 Panic Room

'Another upsetting discovery from the world of nutrition: New studies indicate that the air itself is fattening...'

When a Vampire Bat is the Phlebotomists

Energy Drinks

'It's the speciman you asked me to bring in...'

'Let's order one more MRI, just to play it safe.'

'Oh, Boy! Swine flu vaccine!'

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

"Don't worry, Mr. Johns, basically we'll be taking your organs out and repositioning them all, just a bit to the left."

"This is NOT social distancing dude!"

Floor Wet When Slippery

Pay Hospital Bill Here

"I picked this up from the humans. . . two metre gap. . . gives us a much wider spread."

God and Adam implement social distancing

"It never ceases to amaze me what little brains people have."

'Your health insurance company says you misspelled your name on the application.'

'Sorry Jack, but as I said to Jill, it's the two tier system, if you can't afford anything better, it'll have to be just the vinegar and brown paper.'

"It's a warning from the American Hypochondriacs Association -- you've been overprescribing placebos."